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Tutorial: How to be gullible

So I got a random IM from someone, and I decided to play along. The only thing changed are the usernames to protect this obviously gullible person. Enjoy.

10:31:53 AM robi#####: Toni?

10:32:15 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Master P?

10:32:51 AM robi#####: Looking for Toni–Is she there?

10:33:41 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: one sec

10:33:48 AM robi#####: This is Nancy’s Mom.

10:34:29 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: hi this is Toni

10:34:48 AM robi#####: Have you gone back to school yet?

10:35:00 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: yep

10:35:17 AM robi#####: Do you have a place to live yet?

10:35:50 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: I’m staying with some friends, trying to get things straightened out.

10:36:18 AM robi#####: I need to get rid of the bunny rabbit. Can you take it yet?

10:36:47 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: I guess so, but I’m afraid that these people might want to eat it or something.

10:37:02 AM robi#####: I’m the only one taking care of it. Nancy’s not really helping.

10:37:41 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: We should just put it out of its misery i guess.

10:38:12 AM robi#####: Nancy thinks she has someone who wants it.

10:38:36 AM robi#####: But if he doesn’t take it, I might let it go in my back yard.

10:38:40 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: What are they going to do with it.

10:39:17 AM robi#####: Her friend Nick wants it as a pet, but has parent problems.

10:39:49 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: I think everyone has parent problems.

10:40:27 AM robi#####: My sister suggested letting it spend a day at the park in its cage and see if someone would take it.

10:40:47 AM robi#####: Our neighborhood park.

10:41:03 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Thats kind of weird. You might as well throw it in the water in the cage.

10:41:14 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Its so hot outside it would probably die in the cage.

10:41:28 AM robi#####: Not in the shade.

10:41:44 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Why don’t we just kill it and eat it?

10:42:10 AM robi#####: I’ll let you do that. I don’t think I can.

10:42:36 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Or pretend its a dog, and put a leash on it. That would be hilarious.

10:43:38 AM robi#####: Maybe I can post a sign advertising ‘Free Rabbit to good home’ at the beginning of our neighborhood.

10:43:48 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Or wait, lets sell it on eBay.

10:44:04 AM robi#####: That’s fine.

10:44:23 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Or we could make a movie about a homeless bunny rabbit named “Hobo-bunny”

10:44:48 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: and make a sign for him that says “will work for DVD’s”

10:44:56 AM robi#####: Just let me know what to do with it.

10:45:06 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: I know that bunny rabbits don’t eat DVD’s, but it might be funny.

10:46:06 AM robi#####: Is there some place to advertise ‘Free Pet Rabbit’ at school?

10:46:20 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: yeah, we could put signs up in the bathrooms!

10:46:58 AM robi#####: Is there some kind of school network where everyone will see it?

10:46:59 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: or rent a rabbit suit, and prance around in the street. if someone asks “wtf are you doing” i’ll tell them that i have a free pet rabbit.

10:48:07 AM robi#####: Why don’t you see if you can find someone who wants it?

10:48:28 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: maybe we can cut its feet off and sell them as lucky rabbits feet!

10:49:00 AM robi#####: That’s cruel.

10:49:14 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Not really, it will make 4 people really lucky.

10:49:32 AM robi#####: I doubt it.

10:50:54 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Well Nancy’s mom, I hate to break it to you, but I’m not Toni. But I have enjoyed this chat. Yar har har.

10:51:39 AM robi#####: Is this still Toni’s screen name?

10:51:51 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: this is Toni again

10:51:55 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: sorry, that was my friend

10:52:14 AM robi#####: M or F?

10:52:25 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: who, my friend?

10:52:30 AM robi#####: Yep

10:52:36 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: F

10:53:00 AM robi#####: She had very cruel ideas of what to do with the rabbit.

10:53:25 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: Sorry, gotcha again. This never was Toni. Funny funny.

10:53:55 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: You’ve successfully wasted a full 30 minutes. Congrats.

10:54:21 AM robi#####: If you know Toni–Tell her to contact us.

10:54:45 AM AwesomeGuyLOL: No idea who Toni is. I do know who Master P is though. He’s a bomb ass rapper fool!

 

 

Hurricanes are fucking METAL!

HAHA TEH FLOODZ!! Alright folks, here comes the fun. I fucking LOVE hurricanes. I’m actually booking a flight to Mexico for Wednesday so I can watch the carnage. Nothing like watching a bunch of chumps be punished by the fury of Mohammed for their wicked ways. Looks like hurricane Dean is going to punish Mexico for providing the US with the soul destroying drug marijuana, not to mention the atrocity that is Mexican food. Enjoy the destruction my friends, I’ll be watching the Weather Channel with popcorn. Let the fun begin!

Everyone should be a pilot

Apparently pilots licenses are being given away or packed into pinatas. A passenger jet slammed into a highway in Brazil, and apparently the pilot tried to land the huge aircraft on a highway. Never mind the fact that there might be vehicles traveling on said highway. What a tard.

Today two news helicopters collided in mid-air while trying to follow a high speed pursuit of a stolen vehicle. I don’t know about anyone else, but seeing ONE helicopter is a pretty rare site. I usually stop and stare at the unusually loud flying machine. How on EARTH one helicopter didn’t see the other early enough to avoid slamming into it, I have no idea. I can only assume that they were both either flying blindfolded, or completely drunk and playing helicopter chicken. The latter of which might seem more likely, as even Nasa Astronauts apparently fly drunk.

I’ve flown many helicopters drunk in Battlefield 2. Everyone knows that when things get bad, you bail out and get a new one. I think I’m going to go get my pilots license while they are giving them away. Even if I suck, I’ll be a better pilot than a drunk astronaut or news helicopter crashers.

Learn how to fly lamers. As for the astronauts, congrats on being the first humans to be drunk in space. I’m sure your fraternity brothers are proud.

Real Snipers Don’t Get Caught

LOLOMG this guy is NOT a real sniper. First of all, any REAL sniper would have shot Scott Stapp before shooting some no name bar singer. Second of all, everyone knows REAL snipers take out an easy target with unnecessary force… like a rocket launcher… or a tank… or submarine.

What kind of a sniper gives up? Just run to the nearest cover, or shadow, or map glitch and talk shit on voice chat until everyone gives up on finding you. Never give up… what a fag.

Plus, a real sniper would have used a pistol or something… OMG HALO PISTOLS FTW!!

The iPhone sucks

Fuck the iPhone. There are two types of people who like the iPhone; assholes and assholes. The fingerprint collector touch screen is lame. No copy and paste, no GPS, no laser guided missiles. I have a computer that can do all of the things the iPhone can, as well as play WoW. Can the iPhone play WoW? Nope. What a lame piece of shit. The most useful feature of the iPhone is its ability to detect assholes. Do you see an iPhone? Well then, get ready because there is probably an asshole nearby.

Fuck the iPhone. Fuck it up its stupid ass.